A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
