just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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