i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
