How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
