it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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