yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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