I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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