So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
