dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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