let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
