i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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