As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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