I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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