I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
