dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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