I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
