fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
