at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
