where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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