ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
