I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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