My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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