she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
