I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize