I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
