i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
