69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
