Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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