I am spending my child support on dildos
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
