hell yes lets make some ravioli
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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