My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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