I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
