I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
