i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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