I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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