I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
