Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
