Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
