well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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