Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
