I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I wish i was in the wii world.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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