so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize