Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
