she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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