Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she told me i tasted like america
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
