So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
