I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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