Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
