so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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