she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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