I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
