OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
