im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Duck Duck Cougar?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
