All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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