sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
