so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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