you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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