i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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