Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
