Its about making memories worth repressing
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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