if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
