I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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