butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
