you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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