they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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