Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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