i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
