She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
