pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
