Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
only you would photoshop your dick
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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