i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I will be naked everywhere
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
