I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
