That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
