I'm passing your future prison.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
