I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
