I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
