But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
