i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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