two words: eviction party
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
