I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize