I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
