then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
